1. You’ve Got Your Rockets (And They Aren’t Even 1997)
You always carry them with you in case someone on the street offers you an unexpected ping pong (which never happens, let’s be honest). At least you have your gear like the pros, and that’s good.
2. Sometimes you go to play in parks with people you don’t know and it makes you happy.
Most of the time, you trick kids who don’t quite have the level to face you, but sometimes you come across someone who stands up to you and manages to fight you. It’s rare, it’s frustrating, but since you have a competitive spirit, you like these unexpected oppositions.
3. Your friends don’t want to play with you anymore
As you give them effects from the future and break them on base 11-0, they obviously don’t want to matchup against you anymore. It’s the other side of the coin: you’re too strong for ordinary mortals.
4. You say “table tennis player”
As soon as someone says the words “table tennis players”, you pick them up and shout “ON DIT PONGISTE”. It is very serious for you, so pay attention to the vocabulary. Now that you’ve ended up accepting that we say “ping-pong” instead of “table tennis”, we won’t overdo it either.
5. You shout FAULT when your opponent places their hand on the table
No, because if we start disobeying the official rules of the table tennis federation, where are we really going? We are heading straight for chaos, yes my little lady!
6. You store your snowshoes in a few separate pockets to avoid damaging the handle
It’s simple, you value snowshoes more than your kids. That’s why you caress them, remove them carefully, and why you won’t lend them to your friends for anything in the world. You did it once, your rocket fell, and you’ve lost faith in people ever since.
7. Sometimes you fold half the table and practice by yourself
People looking at you from the outside think you look really stupid playing like this by yourself, but you know it’s the best way to train your skills. They can laugh, others: you will take revenge by breaking them in 1 VS 1.
8. Have you ever been to a ping pong shop?
Ordinary mortals do not even know that this type of store exists and are far from imagining all the shelves filled with rockets of various weights and thicknesses. For them, this is a total mystery. For you, it’s heaven.
9. Get offended when it’s not considered a “real sport”
People who dare say this kind of nonsense have probably never played a match in their life and don’t know that you sweat like a cow when you actually play table tennis. Your athletic physique and muscular legs can attest to this (well, you don’t look like a swimmer either, don’t exaggerate).
10. When renting a vacation home, always check the “ping pong table” filters.
Swimming pool? You don’t care. A barbecue? Does not matter. It is important for you to have a table and be able to play from 10 am to sunset throughout your vacation. And don’t let anyone suggest you go for a walk or visit the local church: you’re too busy practicing your ministry.
11. (Bonus) You play e-pong with the Decathlon adapter to train with the feel of a real racket
And even in a very small room of 2 m², so even when you are in your room and your table tennis buddies are busy, you can still train in virtual reality. It’s official, ping pong really is your drug.